Between Force and Surrender

If you're not as effective in every area of life as you'd like to be, you might want to consider the 

following...

You can react in one of two ways to pretty much everything in your life.  You can use FORCE 

(willpower) to control it, or you can SURRENDER to it.  Each has its place.  One of my clients 

brought this to my attention a few months ago.  I noticed she seemed unable to do such a 

simple thing as taking just 15-30 minutes each morning to "center" herself.   On the other hand, 

she was fighting furiously (and ineffectively) with her thoughts, with those parts of herself and her 

life she doesn't like.

In other words, she was choosing to SURRENDER to laziness (a terrible enemy you never want 

to surrender to, by the way).  And on the other hand, she was using brute FORCE to fight against 

her thoughts of inadequacy, fear, anxiety, loneliness and a host of others.

Like most of us, my client is in the habit of using FORCE and SURRENDER in exactly the wrong 

way.

We need to FORCE ourselves to lead a powerful life,  rather than giving into to our tendency to 

just let ourselves go.  That takes determination.  It always has and it always will. 

And yet, we need to SURRENDER inwardly to the truth about where we're at NOW.  That means 

we stop RESISTING our neurotic tendencies - our fears, our poor self-image, our sharp edges 

and the rest.  Why?  Because only by seeing reality as it REALLY IS can we overcome those 

neuroses.  

And we don't overcome them by FORCE, by repressing them.  That's what created most of them 

in the first place.  When we calmly stare our uncomfortable aspects in the face in a 

non-judgmental way, we find they begin to lose their hold on us.

There are lots of people who think RESILIENCE is about being tough.  And yes, there’s a place 

for that forceful “yang” approach.  It really is vital to building a deliberate, powerful and 

stress-free life.  However…

Equally important and often ignored is the judicious use of surrender, the “yin” approach, 

particularly on the more subtle emotional and spiritual levels... to the right things at the right 

moments, of course.  In fact, it’s the only way to become a fully functional human being.

Not surprisingly, the most effective tool for learning the proper way to surrender inwardly is the 

process of meditation.  Meditation puts you face to face with the very things you've been 

repressing for years or decades, yet gives you the space and comfort to "create space" for 

them and allow them to dissolve on their own.  New meditators are often astonished at how 

much emotional content they've been repressing and how neurotic it was making them.

If you're interested in learning more about the meditation process and how to transform every 

moment of your life into a meditation that builds your health and calms your thoughts and 

emotions, you can go to:

http://www.harapower.com/ 

The irony is, you'll never learn how to surrender to the REAL, to relax deeply into the essence of 

life and discover your true self, unless you know when to apply force.   Every authentic ancient 

tradition is built on this delicate balance between force and surrender.

Your friend in the "war for peace", 

~ Dr. Symeon Rodger

Breathing for DEEP Emotional / Spiritual Health

Last time, we talked about the health benefits of Normal Abdominal Breathing and how to practice it.  We also said that breathing this way will greatly calm your emotions over time, especially if you meditate regularly and make this kind of breathing your "default setting". 

However, you can breathe abdominally and still miss the ultimate point.  How so?  Let's start at the beginning...

As you know, chest breathing - i.e., the unhealthy way most people in our culture breathe - is linked to negative emotions such as anxiety, fear, anger and the rest.  But chest breathing is just a symptom of a bigger problem - captivity to your ego.  This tormenting ego captivity that's so pervasive in the West is a direct result of our rationalistic culture.  It's linked to a whole complex of things, including the "me against the world" mentality, the feeling that the human being is totally separate from the "hostile" world around him, which he has to dominate by force. 

Even though Normal Abdominal Breathing creates better health, if you practice it without dislodging these mentalities and the emotional complexes beneath them, your gains will only be marginal.  You see, the ultimate purpose of your breath work is to take you beyond ego captivity!

Ego captivity is what Hara expert Karlfried Durckheim called a "fundamental lack of trust in life itself".  On a deep level, the chest breather is afraid to surrender to the natural process of breathing.  He feels he has to breathe on his own or he'll cease to exist.  He can't seem to let himself surrender to his breath and "be breathed" instead of breathing by force. 

So here's the paradox: even though we abdominal breathers consciously watch our breath, our purpose is to surrender to it.  The chest breathers, on the other hand, ignore their breath, yet can't surrender to it. 

You can feel this for yourself, even doing abdominal breathing.  It's an emotional / spiritual tension that manifests itself most strongly as you transition from inhaling to exhaling.  It's as if something hesitates, something in you tightens up.  An expert can verify these hidden emotional / spiritual tensions in his or her students by checking their posture, since almost every hidden tension is stored in the posture and knocks the posture out of alignment. 

Breathing only reveals its full significance to the extent you are able to surrender to it, to life and to the greater life force within you.  And you can only do that to the extent you've gone beyond the ego-centric fear for bodily welfare.  So we have even more paradoxes here!  Many people will say they trust in God, yet their breathing reveals something very different...

How can you go beyond your ego-captivity and enter into the real mystery of breathing?  The first step is simply to keep practicing.  Sit and breath properly, and pay attention to what your body reveals to you.  Did you find some hidden emotional / spiritual tensions you weren't aware of?  That's okay, just acknowledge them and continue.  Practice and time overcome all obstacles!

For more information on mastering breathing, meditation and movement, click here.
~ Dr. Symeon Rodger

Life's Great Dilemma: Go with the Flow or Force It?

One of our members, Marie, brought up a GREAT question a few weeks ago and I promised her an answer.

As it happens, you need the answer to. But first, thequestion! Here it is...
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Hi there. This e-mail came at a crucial time. Pursuant to what I've heard everywhere (not just from you) I am doing EFT with a very intuitive, great coach. However, whenever I want to go towards Peak Performance issues or talk about my vision of excellence I have for my career (much of which I've developed from reading your articles and book), she starts telling me to let go, stop being so focussed and just let things happen. She even says maybe I don't really want to be excellent at my chosen profession but would be happier married to a millionaire, pursuing this as a hobby.

It seems Law Of Attraction people, especially females, always preach a "let it just happen," "be joyous," "put a positive spin on everything" mentality that really is for a hobbyist or housewife. She may have a point that I am being too narrow in my approach, but how do you act as a "predator for your goals " (your language)and go about them methodically if you are setting aside your vision and just letting things happen? I love bringing up these dilemmas to you and maybe you can address them on the call September 10 [I didnt't]. If you can wed these two concepts I believe you will be a unique voice in the Self-Help field. Meanwhile I am looking for a new EFT practitioner ;-)
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To listen to my answer, you need to turn up your speakers and click this link:

- Dr. Symeon Rodger :-)